Lawblog 2008 is on. 15th September

August 20, 2008 – 2:12 pm

The location is the upstairs room of The Harp pub Chandos place London. From 6pm onwards. RSVP in the comments please.


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By Geeklawyer | Posted in Uncategorized | Comments (5)

“Ironic”: adjective. Greek origin: Wry amusement. Applies to fat Greek cunts.

August 18, 2008 – 9:50 pm

Geeklawyer has a long running saga of blog posts against the greasy fat fuckwit bully Stelios and his repellent campaign to annex God’s own language: a language that is foreign to him and which is despoilt by its emanation from his flabby salivating bovine lips.

Despite the fact that Geeklawyer has buggered Stelios’ mother, and made videos of it, he refuses to refuse to comment on the application of the word ‘irony‘ to the news that Stelios Hajiwopabopapolous is suing Sleasyjet because they are using the word ‘Easy’ (not really a ™).

The tiresome gist of the case is that Sleazyjet were only licenced to use ‘Easy’ for core flying activities. The corpulent one says that hotels & car-hire aren’t such a use while Sleazyjet say they are. Geeklawyer will report further if he can take enough ‘Stay-Awake’ pills.

By Geeklawyer | Posted in trademarks | Comments (0)

Random fire 11

August 17, 2008 – 3:09 pm

1) Drunken beasts

Having returned from a boozy alpine holiday Geeklawyer was amused by this Times report of Club 18-30 Brits abroad. Apparently we are vile drunk and embarrassing: nonetheless the Greeks and other resorts like our money so much they won’t stop it happening. Frankly, there is nothing wrong with drunken misbehavior just so long as it is Geeklawyer and his peers doing it. When we get rat-arsed we have the class to do it behind the walls of our Tuscany holiday villas without offending the locals. The problem is that the Ruinair generation (thank you O’Leary, you paddy potato eating cunt) can fly anywhere in Europe for nothing. In the good old days it was only well heeled chaps such as Geeklawyer, with a good profession and a private income, who could play away from home. Nowadays prices are so cheap that every chav scum can save up his dole money, or his MacDonald’s wage, and humiliate his nation abroad. Geeklawyer remains of the view that the proper solution is to give passports only to the upper middle classes and the gentry: or failing that to introduce hunting permits to allow decent people to hunt those impertinent chavs who venture outside the UK cage. Mmmm, roasted chav….

2) Stasi 2.0

One of the glorious things about capitalism is that it encourages innovation and technical efficiency. Geeklawyer was terribly impressed with the idea that with modern technology any recorded minor ancient indiscretion or unproven unsubstantiated allegation could wreck a mans career if an employer chose to do a vetting check. Now this technological promise has been realised and pesky ‘criminal friendly‘ limitations have been cast aside.

One of the good points about the Rehabilitation of Offenders Act 1974 was that it encouraged the ‘clean start’ idea minor of medium offence could be expunged if a man turned to the straight and narrow. Forgiveness. Now anything however minor tittle tattle or not will be passed to an employer who use it as they will. New employees are rejected and old loyal ones dismissed on the basis of 30 year old allegations that never even went to court. This was, of course, all to protect the children and an employer would never be unfair would they? So one can defer checking to them rather than adding to the tax consuming burdens of civil servants.

3) The Bar: it’s a profession not a job.

Susan Cartier runs a very useful website for lawyers interested in solo practice rather than being associate “#AZ203_Chigago_associate_sucker102″ at Somethingovitz Feinstein LLP. In her post on being a lawyer she talks of the law as being a profession rather than a merely a job. The distinction being, in her thesis, that in this one has an oath to adhere to. Those such as Dan Hull at WTF? would presumably take odds, what with their bizarre views that lawyers are merely mere mortals with a supporting role to business. Geeklawyer prefers Susan’s view; although were he to be picky he would say that the mere taking of an oath is not sufficient, since that would also include prison warders, the Filth, soldiers and other low-level violence grunts. Nonetheless an oath combined with training, professional regulation, a high barrier to entry, an ethical corpus might well cut it as a definition.

4) Speed Cameras

Geeklawyer drove to Swissieland in his Nissan Micra along with some chums. This was vastly entertaining if a little tiring. While hammering through France he was flashed by a speed camera. this was a bit surprising as he was only doing a piffling 85 mph in a 75mph zone. The question then arose: “can a French speeding ticket follow Geeklawyer back home and be successfully enforced?”. Geeklawyer’s brilliance does not extend to criminal law, let alone international criminal law and EU covenants, but he will have a go at resisting this ticket on jurisdictional grounds alone and see what happens: just for a laugh, not because he is innocent or any crap like that. Regular blog updates to follow.

By Geeklawyer | Posted in Random Fire, Uncategorized | Comments (19)

Verdict on the Alps: jolly steep & not good for cycling.

August 15, 2008 – 8:20 am

Geeklawyer spends his last day in Swissieland today. His verdict on the Swiss is that the cliches about them are right: they are odd. Not unpleasant, just odd, unpleasantly odd. They live law abiding ordered lives of subservience to the will of the collective. So long as one complies one is safe. Geeklawyer enjoyed his time here. It’s a nice place to visit but Geeklawyer wouldn’t want his brain filled here. One good point about the Swiss is that they are impressively efficient at everything.

The other triffic thing is the pretty Alps. Geeklawyer went for some stonking walks that were huge fun & muchly to be recommended. Some people cycle up the Alps. That is mad, they go up at an alarming rate and the air gets very thin. It’s great air but there just isn’t very much of it.

Geeklawyer’s chum Thomas Otter is one such cycling loony, and to double his pain he does this in France, which is even more alarming. He does, however, have a good excuse this time. He is collecting money in a good cause that Geeklawyer supports: providing aid to the victims of the depraved and evil megalomaniac Robert Mugabe. Mugabe is starving killing and mutilating enemies, actually he is doing this to anyone who isn’t an active supporter, and these people all need support.

Thomas is cycling on a sponsored fundraiser through the alps to raise money to help the charity. Geeklawyer would urge you to donate what you can for such a good cause: he has.

By Geeklawyer | Posted in waaaaay off-topic | Comments (9)

Adding entropy to Swissland

August 12, 2008 – 5:01 pm

Geeklawyer is in Swissyland at the moment, in a ski resort that is looking rather green and forlorn. The Swissies are trying to encourage summer visitors because of their well known shortage of money.

The mountains are very large and mountainy and the Swissies are jolly odd people. They will insist on talking at one at the most inopportune moments, such as at breakfast or when one is necking a pint. I suspect I don’t like them that much.

Unfortunately there are lots of Dutch people here also: the Swissies have an arguable right to be here. Geeklawyer used to like the Dutch but then they went all mad and right-wing. The only Dutchmen he ever sees abroad are trailer trash with lots of cheap jewellery and Matellan skirts: the women aren’t much better, but they do at least have better moustaches than the Italian women.

Geeklawyer is, of course, offending people and chatting up totty. The two things coinciding neatly: his barmaid understood him when he summoned her by the name ‘Hot Bar Wench’ which was a tad embarrassing as he had assumed a poor command of English (which was surprisingly common).

Here is a picture of Swissieland. Memorise it - it may help you if you wind up here lost.

I hope to be back at wotk soon. Holidays getting boring.

By Geeklawyer | Posted in Uncategorized | Comments (18)

Extreme client care?

August 8, 2008 – 9:29 am

Couldn’t help but wonder what Dan Hull would have made of this story (via the excellent Inner Temple news site) about a lesbian stalker who is now detained under the Mental Health Act after harassed a chick solicitor.

Ms (and she is surely a ‘Ms’) McGrath was initially a client of the Johnson Partnership in Nottingham. She then began phoning following and writing to Miss Eardley for a prolonged period, culminating in her hiding behind the curtains at Ms Eardly’s house where she was found wrestled to the ground by a passing boyfriend and then arrested.

One hates to say it but one can’t help feeling that it may actually be Ms Eardley at fault here. Clearly a vulnerable client did not receive the sort of no-limits ‘Balls to the Wind’ client care that WAC? would have provided. Geeklawyer speculates that the correct approach would have been for Ms Eardley to provide a lesbian solicitor to cater to Ms McGrath’s ‘needs‘. And for goodness sake, think of the billable hours here: how many letters & phone calls at £x/hour? The behind the curtains incident would surely count as a conference with a massive antisocial hours uplift?

Frankly, Ms McGrath’s assertion that: ‘ “She’s a rubbish solicitor. She’d be better off working in the Co-Op.” ‘ may have some substance. Those lost billables will hopefully be reflected in her annual bonus.

By Geeklawyer | Posted in legal profession | Comments (14)

The last post

August 3, 2008 – 2:10 pm

Well, no, not the last post. Geeklawyer isn’t doing a Ruthie style cut and run from blogging. No, you don’t get that lucky. Nor is Geeklawyer about to die as a result of eating lethal Fugu this evening.

Rather, he is inconsolable with grief that he has to return to the UK now that his sojourn in Japan is done. Back to the world of work. For 3 days anyway, then he goes to Switzerland for another holiday.

In the meantime here is a brief medley of his holiday videos. Aw, come on, you have to put up with your fucking parent’s vacation videos why not Geeklawyer’s?

By Geeklawyer | Posted in Uncategorized | Comments (7)

iPhone 3G = sucky - but maybe Geeklawyer wants it? Or not? Conflicted.

August 1, 2008 – 1:36 pm

Geeklawyer has been, so far as Japanese hotel broadband will allow, watching the 3G coverage with interest. As far as he can tell the iPhone 3G isn’t yet available in the UK in any meaningful way, with numbers being very restricted. While the 2G iPhone was always a non-starter because of the network speed the 3G had some interest.

From everything he reads the iPhone apps are cool and a reason to get it even if they do crash more often than Ruthie on a motorcycle on a wet road. Battery life looks a bit sucky even with wifi & Bluetooth turned off. But this will no doubt be cured by the Apple iPhone ecosystem: lots of 3rd party products like battery boosters etc etc. Location services seem to crash apps: again, an OS patch should fix this one day.

But there is a core problem that looks to Geeklawyer as if it may kill its value as a phone and as an object of Geeklawyer tech lust. The issue is one of control by Apple. It’s well known that Steve Jobs is an anally retentive megolomaniac with an ego problem. And if there is one thing Geeklawyer knows about, it is people with ego inflation problems. He sees a lot of them.

Jobs is so obsessed with the unimpeachable correctness of his own opinions and values that he cannot see the possibility of correct dissent. If Jobs says it is so then, fuck, that is the way it is because it is right. Combine this with a desire to control the product, the market and the users and you have a problem. This problem ruins the iPhone.

Jobs has NDAs in place that ruin the quality of the software because developers cannot share basic information that would improve the apps: so they crash. Users aren’t happy, nor are developers. And it seems that users want their phones to have functionality that threatens Steve’s business model with the phone companies, but fuck them, these competing apps are spiked anyway.

It is a shame Jobs doesn’t have terminal cancer, contrary to media reports. If he did perhaps after his death the company could move on to world domination by consent rather than the Bush “Guantanamo” style of suppression of enemies that Jobs seems to prefer.

Is Google’s Android a better long terms bet? Open hardware spec, sort of openish code (fully open later). Perhaps. Or perhaps the FSF, with its personality challenged nutjobs, led by the only man who could make Steve Jobs look appealing, have a point about code openness. God how it hurts to agree with a man Geeklawyer would like to skin alive with a plastic spoon and dip in salt.

If any UK developer wants Geeklawyer’s help referring Apple to the EU Competition Commissioner or challenging a licence he will be only too glad to assist at discounted rates. Fuck it, he may even stay sober during the trial. Well …

By Geeklawyer | Posted in Geek | Comments (11)

Japanese toilets

August 1, 2008 – 12:35 pm

By Geeklawyer | Posted in Uncategorized | Comments (14)

Eating things that are alive

July 29, 2008 – 2:37 am

and that don’t really want to be eaten:

To his surprise the urchin was delicious. Very soft texture. The squid would have been good but the suckers are boney and made it very crunchy - in a bad way. And also one could feel the suckers hanging on to one’s tongue.

Frankly, while Geeklawyer admires the instinct for self-preservation the squid should have realised that it had already been cut up already and was not going to go home: Geeklawyer would have respected it more if it had reflected on it’s fate with insouciant calm and gone to it’s maker with dignity.

By Geeklawyer | Posted in Uncategorized | Comments (16)